Attitude of Gratitude

It's Christmaween!

If you asked my kids they'd probably tell you that I love Christmas.  Every year I drag them down to the Hallmark store to buy their annual ornament (everyone has to pick their own, which has resulted in no less than three annoying Scooby Doo ornaments that make noise in the five years I've been doing this).  Then there is the advent calendar with a different Christmas-related activity planned for each day leading up to the BIG DAY in which they get more stuff for me to step on, put together and clean up after.  Worse perhaps than the Santa Claus lie is the Christmas lie I live every December.  I HATE Christmas.  Hate perhaps isn't a strong enough word to accurately describe my feelings.....abhor, despise, loathe, yes, loathe, perhaps.  Growing up it was the time of the year when my dad's business was the slowest, so of course it was a time for arguing between him and my mom about money.  We were generally living pretty much paycheck-to-paycheck, which isn't poor until something bad happens like the massive medical bills.  Later, long after my baby sister had been in and out of the hospital as a result of being premature, it became a time of year for arguing + disappointments when the weight of those medical bills became too much.  The Christmas I was 12, I remember having to pretend I was happy with a gift box of Lifesavers I received under the tree because dad was too proud to request toys from any of the agencies that provided them to kids like us.  Other than that box of Lifesavers, I can't name one gift I received as a child, but I can remember vividly what it's like to be in a house of adults fighting about money the day before Christmas.  Other than those yearly fights, we had no holiday traditions, no family activities......nothing I can hold onto.  Despite the fact that I'm sure both my parents would call themselves religious, it was a completely secular holiday with none of the spirit of generosity, giving or gratitude that should be associated with it.    

I have been fortunate for my most of my kids' lives to be able to afford to spend a decent amount on their Christmas haul.  This may not always hold true, but I will always try to talk them into watching A Charlie Brown Christmas, make them hot chocolate as they put up the tree and drive around with them to look at the neighbor's lights.  I will start filling that advent calendar with more service and charity projects as the years pass and their ability to interact with their world grows.  I will always pretend to be excited about Christmas, even as they roll their eyes as they turn into teens.  Growing up, Christmas was always about the tree and presents, I pray that I can turn it into something a little more for my little ones.  I am not particularly religious, nor am I a fan of the commercialism, but I will always try to channel my inner Sponge Bob and promote an Attitude of Gratitude, even if I have to lie ;)