Attitude of Gratitude

It's Christmaween!

If you asked my kids they'd probably tell you that I love Christmas.  Every year I drag them down to the Hallmark store to buy their annual ornament (everyone has to pick their own, which has resulted in no less than three annoying Scooby Doo ornaments that make noise in the five years I've been doing this).  Then there is the advent calendar with a different Christmas-related activity planned for each day leading up to the BIG DAY in which they get more stuff for me to step on, put together and clean up after.  Worse perhaps than the Santa Claus lie is the Christmas lie I live every December.  I HATE Christmas.  Hate perhaps isn't a strong enough word to accurately describe my feelings.....abhor, despise, loathe, yes, loathe, perhaps.  Growing up it was the time of the year when my dad's business was the slowest, so of course it was a time for arguing between him and my mom about money.  We were generally living pretty much paycheck-to-paycheck, which isn't poor until something bad happens like the massive medical bills.  Later, long after my baby sister had been in and out of the hospital as a result of being premature, it became a time of year for arguing + disappointments when the weight of those medical bills became too much.  The Christmas I was 12, I remember having to pretend I was happy with a gift box of Lifesavers I received under the tree because dad was too proud to request toys from any of the agencies that provided them to kids like us.  Other than that box of Lifesavers, I can't name one gift I received as a child, but I can remember vividly what it's like to be in a house of adults fighting about money the day before Christmas.  Other than those yearly fights, we had no holiday traditions, no family activities......nothing I can hold onto.  Despite the fact that I'm sure both my parents would call themselves religious, it was a completely secular holiday with none of the spirit of generosity, giving or gratitude that should be associated with it.    

I have been fortunate for my most of my kids' lives to be able to afford to spend a decent amount on their Christmas haul.  This may not always hold true, but I will always try to talk them into watching A Charlie Brown Christmas, make them hot chocolate as they put up the tree and drive around with them to look at the neighbor's lights.  I will start filling that advent calendar with more service and charity projects as the years pass and their ability to interact with their world grows.  I will always pretend to be excited about Christmas, even as they roll their eyes as they turn into teens.  Growing up, Christmas was always about the tree and presents, I pray that I can turn it into something a little more for my little ones.  I am not particularly religious, nor am I a fan of the commercialism, but I will always try to channel my inner Sponge Bob and promote an Attitude of Gratitude, even if I have to lie ;)

Where I want 2014 to take me

Every year I make New Years Resolutions and every year I get distracted and fall off pretty quickly (and by pretty quickly I mean approximately 7-10 days in.) I know that I always preach being easy on oneself, but I, like many people, am my own worst critic.  I also had this thought that this past year depression has had such a hold on me because I spent so much time focused on my unemployment and not on small things I could do to make me happier. So this year instead of resolutions, I've to decided instead to make lists of things. Lots and lots of lists. My first list is of places to see/things to do in 2014. Who knows if I'll actually get to do all of these things (especially with the on again/off again unemployment issue....yay government employee!), but thinking about this is a lot more fun than lack of employment.

• Go see a NASCAR race (only because it will make my husband happy)
• Ride in a swamp boat
• Go on a canoe ride
• Visit at least two waterfalls
• Go see Chimney Rock
• Take the velociraptor to Lego Land because Lego Discovery Center was a huge letdown

Where do you want 2014 to take you?

Taking the first step

I am having major writer's block in my offline life, hopefully I don't find it spilling into this one as well.  It's been a long, long summer and I'm glad that it is finally coming to an end for me because that means I can come back to my real life and finally escape the stressful hair-and-sleep-loss environment of my current schooling program (well at least until January).

It's been a long summer full of struggles.  I've been away from my sweet kiddos and husband for most of the summer, surviving off of pictures and videos and a daily Face Time call back to the baby and weekly one to the boy.  I've spent the summer wrestling with my future in a way that even the Tarot couldn't help.

I hate indecisiveness and often act way before I've considered all of my options, so this constant state of uncertainty as to which path I should take has been driving me crazy, to say the least.  I completely underestimated the impact leaving the military would make on me after almost nine years and how hanging onto bits of that world would make moving on even more difficult.  I admire people who can cut off things completely and now see the wisdom in that.

I spent the summer bouncing from idea to another, afraid to go back to what I know to be my true calling.  I know I'm not the only person out there who ignores the obvious for one (or a million) reasons.  I had good reasons, I'm sure, but sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and hope that you understood what the universe was trying to convey.

Journaling

I really want to start journaling.  I really, really like the idea of it.  In my head, the idea of writing my innermost thoughts and feelings on a page of paper seems so--I don't know--relaxing and literary.  I imagine the worlds greatest thinkers must have written in journals. In my head, I can see myself sitting at a beautiful desk (that I don't own and probably won't until the kids are old enough not to destroy it), writing in beautiful handwriting (my own handwriting is chicken scratch) in a beautiful leather bound book that my children will treasure long after my death.

Okay, I know that I'm probably seriously over-romanticizing it, but getting things out of my system and onto a page does seem like an incredibly helpful tool for goal setting and just general mental well being.  But to be honest, I have an incredibly difficult time journaling.  Maybe you do to.  Personally there seems to be a million (neurotic) little reasons why I don't journal:

1.  I don't want to write in the really pretty book I've picked to be my journal, but practical notebooks don't seem worthy of being a journal.
2.  I really want to write my true feelings down but I don't want someone else to read them.
3.  I get started and write daily, then forget for a few days and by the time I remember I feel incredibly guilty and give up.
4.  Who is going to burn these journals if I die?
5.  If someone does read this, I want them to think I'm a fabulous writer, so I spend more time editing my thoughts than getting them down on paper.
6.  I can't write fast enough.
7.  Seriously, I can't write in that really pretty notebook, in fact I'm just going to put it with the other empty notebooks on the shelf.
8.  I can barely read my own handwriting.
9.  What do I do on the days when my schedule consisted of keeping the kids alive and doing laundry?
10. Do I really want my kids reading this 50 years from now?

If I've come up with 10 reasons, I'm sure many of you have as well.  I finally had to give up the idea of a traditional journal.  Something that works for one person (writing a regular account of their feeling and actions) does not work for all. Traditional journaling did not work for me at all. Journaling can be a good tool for self discovery, but only if it works for you.  It shouldn't make you feel guilty or kick your OCD into overdrive.

If you are interested in journaling, it's important to pick a format that works for you.  I write poems.  It doesn't happen every day, but it happens enough that I can come up with several a month.  Poems work for me because I can work on them over time and edit, edit, edit.  I don't ever have to force myself to sit down and I don't ever feel guilty about not writing them. 

Find something you enjoy and use it as a tool for recording your thoughts and emotions.  Here are a couple of alternatives to traditional journaling for you to consider:

1.  Sketching or painting.  Like poetry, this can be done when the mood strikes you.  You can choose a special book or keep a portfolio where you keep your drawings.  If you like the idea of having a book, but don't want to be restricted to the same paper size, consider scanning your finished work and creating a book through one of the many photography websites such as MPIX, Shuttefly, or Snapfish.

2.  Electronic journaling.  Many people can go a whole day not picking up a pen, but find themselves in front of a screen several times a day.  If that is you, why not move your journaling efforts to your computer or smartphone?  Your laptop or home computer is the perfect place to keep a journal--whether it's a simple word document or even an online blog.  And if you're like me and attached to your phone, there are tons of journaling apps, both free and paid, available on both IPhone and Droid devices.    One of my favorites is an app called "My Wonderful Days" which is available in light (free) and full (paid) versions. 

3.  Scrapbooks.  Maybe you aren't super crafty or up for buying into tons of supplies, but scrapbooks don't have to be the complicated, expensive, time-consuming project they have become.  Long before the intricate books of today, our grandmothers kept simple scrapbooks, full of bits and pieces of their lives--photos, newspaper clippings, programs, etc.  They didn't need ribbons or cut out shapes on printed papers--a simple ticket stub, photo or other memento pasted onto a page, with a few words written to the side worked well then and still can be a good way to get out the emotions associated with an event.

4.  Catchers.  Sometimes an idea hits at an inconvenient time.  I know that I personally often times find myself mulling over things as I'm stuck in standstill traffic, waiting for the kid to get out of school or in line at the bank.  For people like this, I suggest carrying around a little spiral notebook or note cards and writing when the mood strikes.  The slips of paper can be organized in a small filing box (if they are uniform in size) or if you're one to write on receipts and post it notes, consider sticking them in plastic paper protectors or scanning them to your computer to keep a chronological record.


In the end, how you journal isn't important.  Save yourself the angst and give up the image in your head of journaling and just do it.  Any journal that helps you work out your emotions and grow is a valid journal--make it work for you, don't work for your journal.

Ace of Pentacles: Cautiously Optimisitic

I rarely read for myself.  People often come to the Tarot because the emotion of a situation is too much:  Tarot readers are no exception.  When I read for myself this emotion leaks into the reading and I often just find myself with a mirror of my own emotional state as opposed to actual guidance.  But I thought I'd try today, as it's been a trying week and this has been the first day where I felt that my emotional "leveler" has finally reached the point where the bubble has found its way to the middle.  So I sat down and with the baby babbling and blowing raspberries (an excellent way to clear the mind, let me tell you) in the background, I shuffled the deck and drew my card.  I pulled the Ace of Pentacles.

The Ace of Pentacles was an interesting choice.  The suite of Pentacles deals with money and material matters.  It was strangely relevant because I am feeling very directionless these days.  I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.  More importantly, like lots of people these days, I've found myself in the middle of a frustrating and fruitless job search.  It has been a serious blow to my ego because I've been continuously employed since I was 19.  I think I've been working and earning money so long, that it became an integral part of my identity.   As my search has dragged on, I've been the subject of so much "helpful" advice and "encouragement." There are people out there who will ply you with inspirational quotes, religious messages, etc when you find yourself in a difficult life situation, but the truth of the matter is that sometimes trying circumstances like these are lessons but just as likely they are sometimes just trying circumstances.  Crappy things happen to everyone. 

When you find yourself drawing an Ace Card in the Tarot, you can know certain things without even knowing it's meaning:  1) You are facing beginnings, seeds being planted, new things on the horizon, new possibilities.  2)  You should focus on the main theme of the suit as the Ace is often the epitome of these ideas.  Today's message is clear:  focus on the practical, the material.  The seeds have been planted--you just have to look for them.  If this is you and you too are going through an exhausting search for work, I encourage you to look for those seeds.  They are there.  Every crappy situation is NOT a lesson from the universe, but something can be learned from every crappy situation.  Blessings!

Three Important Aspects of your Tarot Ritual

When you hear the word "ritual" what comes to mind?  Secret, dark ceremonies performed in a forest?  Sacrificial rites performed by a cult?  Voodoo spells?  A great many people find the word off-putting, but ritual is highly important to a good reading.

The wonderful thing about your Tarot ritual is that it can be whatever you want it to be as long as it helps you clear your mind for the reading(s) ahead.  An unclear, emotional mind will definitely muddle a reading--bits and pieces of you and your own situation will leak through and affect the cards.  As you grow as a reader, you'll see this and begin to recognize it more readily.  It's one main reason that I read my cards so infrequently....it's really hard for me to approach what bugs me with a clear, neurtral mind.

When creating your ritual, you'll want to think about the following:

1.  Space:  We don't always have the luxury of dedicated spaces for our Tarot, but finding a quiet, calm spot away from the noise and distraction of electronics and family is important.  Once you've found your spot, try to do your readings there when ever possible.

2.  Preparation:  There are many ways to prepare for a reading.  You could find a special cloth you like to spread out to lay the cards on.  You could also light a candle.  Perhaps you could say a prayer, meditate or imagine positive energy filling the space around you.  The important thing is to approach the cards with a clear mind.

3.  The Cards:  Shuffling may seem like a minor detail, but I have always felt it was key to a good reading.  If I'm reading for another person and they are in front of me, I usually let them shuffle.  I start my readings by pulling a signifier out of the deck to represent the person, then I lay them all out on the cloth face down, mixing them up as much as possible and trying to touch every card.  I then divide the deck into thirds, placing the 2nd or middle third on top.  This is just an example--you will want to develop a certain way you like to mix up the cards that feels right to you.

The key to a good ritual is clarity.  Anything positive that gets you to a place where you can approach the Tarot with a calm, clear mind is definitely worth considering including in your ritual. Put your own personal touch on your ritual and it will work well for you.

Slacking

Seriously slacking here in so many ways......see that side bar on the left?  I have made no new hats since the 6th.  I'm going to have to mail them from Georgia when ever we get there.  I've "half-assed" organizing the house all day and spent all day yesterday crocheting instead of doing anything remotely productive.  The movers come Friday.  Time's a ticking and here I sit on my backside surrounded by the mess of decluttering.  I am crazy.

Random Review Friday: 52 Mondays: The One Year Path to Outrageous Success and Lifelong Happiness

 

I have a love-hate relationship with a lot of self help books and programs out there.  Vic Johnson's book, however, completely surprised me in a very pleasant way.   I read it today while I was dying on the elliptical, having come across it awhile back on the 'ol Kindle.  While I'm not sure he truly introduces anything new (the basic message is:  Get off your butt if you want to accomplish anything) his approach is definitely new and falls more on the pragmatic side.

The book is, as you can imagine, broken down into 52 different sections, one for each Monday in a year.  Each chapter builds upon the last so you get a little reminder of what your lesson for the previous week was.  There is a lot of what you'd expect from a self help book--positive encouragement, anecdotes from famous and wealthy, inspirational quotes--without all of the nonsense a lot of authors try to sell about our desires and wishes being enough to attract great things.  

Don't get me wrong....I strongly believe that our energy and thoughts have a significant affect on our lives, but wishing all day to be rich isn't going to get you there.  This is where "52 Mondays" is different.  It's angle is to get you up and going and keep you in motion as you work towards your goal.  

I know it's nearly the end of January, but it's not too late to start implementing these ideas into your own life.  In fact what better time than now as those all around you give up on all of those New Year's resolutions.  Here's a way to help you stay strong throughout the year.

Home again, finally

I have spent the past 6 days mostly in my husband's car, unfortunately, driving across the southeast (yes the entire southeast) and unfortunately I'm not done yet.  But soon, very soon I will be finally, finally settled in a house in Georgia where we will live until the Army tells us it's time to repeat this insane process all over again.  I'm afraid I've completely ruined myself for normal adult life.  When I grew up we only moved once.  My son, in his seven years on the planet has lived in six different cities, my daughter two before her first birthday.  It's crazy but part of me fears getting bored (as I do now) of the place I'm living and not being able to move (because you just don't do that as a civilian unless you're a glutton for punishment or a nomad.)  But there is a part of me that longs to live in one place for a very long time, to get to know my neighbors, to ensconce myself into a community.  Why is it we always want what we can't have?

Properly Storing Your Tarot Cards

Leather Drawstring Bag from My Grandmother's Hands

If you've decided that this year you are going to begin learning the Tarot or if you've simply just decided as I did many years ago that Tarot cards are neat and you want to collect them, then you are going to want to learn about how best to keep and store them.  How you accomplish this will depend completely on your intent for the cards you have in your possession.

I'm not by any means the supreme Tarot expert, but in my experience, Tarot cards that you collect and Tarot cards that you use have to be treated as two separate things, though not for the reasons you think.  Many people will tell you that storage of your cards effects their energy.  This is where I disagree.  The power of any type of tool comes from the bearer and not the tool itself.  Tarot cards are just pieces of paper until you touch them and allow your energy to guide the cards.  Many Tarot readers will tell you that you MUST store and handle them a certain way, but the truth is there is no super secret mystical reason for the various methods of storing cards people insist on.

If you are collecting cards then you want to be practical in your approach to caring for them.  Generally, cards you are collecting should be protected just as with any other collection, so you should store them just as you would any other collectible.  I don't have room to display my collection, so for the time being mine are kept in a heavy duty plastic container with a lid.  When I'm not looking at them or showing them off, I keep them in a dark closet away from the sun.  When I take them out of their plastic box, I keep them away from water, wash and dry my hands before handling them and don't allow food or drink near them.

If you plan on using a Tarot deck and actually reading from it, you will want to keep it in a special way.  Ritual is incredibly important to reading the Tarot--having a ritual you maintain every time you read is essential to getting your mind ready and clear for the reading ahead.  How you store and care for you cards is a major part of this ritual.  As I mentioned before you'll find some very strong opinions on this (I've even seen people berated for the way they maintained their cards).  You'll also find that there are as many different opinions on how to store your cards as there are readers, but I've found having them wrapped or contained in special bag, pouch or box made of natural material is not only a good way to begin this ritual but it also serves to protect the cards better. (I like natural material pouches and boxes because for me the texture and feel of the pouch or box is important.)

Oftentimes when you buy a set of cards it comes with a pouch which is generally a see-through tulle type fabric.  There is nothing inherently wrong with keeping them in this type of bag (and if this feels right for you, then you should carry on) but it does offer very little protection for your cards.   Protection is important because you and perhaps everyone you read for will be coming into contact with your deck.

If you are not able to find a container made of natural materials that suits you, there are countless vendors online who sell all types of pouches and boxes to store your cards.  Last year I bought a wonderful leather pouch for a special set of cards my husband bought me from Kim a seller on Etsy.  An example of one of her pouches is at the top of this blog and below is the picture of the one I bought from her. I can't say enough good things about her wonderful bags--her pouches are beautiful and soft and her prices are very reasonable.

The pouch I bough from Kim's Etsy shop My Grandmother's Hands on Etsy

I also have used a solid wood trinket box I bought a while back to store my cards in.  This one is a bit on the fancy side because I picked it up while deployed, but any solid wooden box will work well to store a deck.

And finally, if money is tight and you're crafty (or even if you're not) hand made pouches work equally as well.  When I bought my first reading deck, I crocheted this pouch from cotton yarn to keep it in.  But if you're not fond of crafts, it doesn't have to be this elaborate.  A simple cloth wrapped neatly around your deck will work just as well.  The point being is do what works for you and your individual ritual.  There may be a million things that a person can do to give a horrible reading--misinterpretation of the cards, judging the client, letting our personal biases affect the reading--but storing cards the "wrong" way isn't one of them.  Keep them clean and dry and protected and they will serve you well for many years.

Disclaimer:  I did not receive compensation in any form for any endorsements made in this blog post, nor was I asked by Etsy or any of its sellers to make the preceding recommendations.

Sunday Night-bleh

I hate Sunday night.  There's nothing worse than those last few moments of freedom before going back to the drudgery that is the regular week.  I thought my opinion of Sunday would instantly change when I let my contract expire, but no...even if my Mondays no longer involve dragging myself out of bed at a ridiculously early hour to head to a job I abhor, those around me still do and my days revolve around them.  Spending all weekend with them just ten feet from me (even if they are glued to a screen the entire time) is immensely comforting.

During the week the hours seem to speed up as I rush around running errands, trying (unsuccessfully) to keep up with the house, & chauffeuring the Velociraptor around all the while trying to keep Little Bit safe and happy.  At this point if I was a "normal" blogger, I'd have a happy little list of things (which would have been included in my title because that's good SEO)  that I've done to help me (and by me I mean my readers) become better organized so my Mondays wouldn't be so hectic.  Or I'd have some uplifting story about an incident that changed my view on Sundays.  But I don't.  Sorry, no positive energy here. I hate Sunday night and always will.

Craft Fail: New Year's Resolution edition

When a crocheter tries to knit

One of my resolutions is to learn to knit, specifically to knit well enough to make us all (four of us) knitted stockings for Christmas 2013.  My goal for the month of January was to make 20 baby hats for the hospital Little Bit was born at.  Above is what happened when I attempted to combine the two.  EPIC. CRAFTING. FAIL.  Perfect hat for the temporary cone head, I suppose, post birth, but after that--awkward poof.  Oh well...practice makes perfect I suppose.  Time to start frogging...On the bright side, knitting this poor hat took me away from my computer nearly half the day, and cut into my obssessive Face Book checking, so I guess it wasn't a 100% total wash.

Making Better Resolutions?

I read this article today, How to Make Better New Year's Resolutions and it struck a major cord.  Resolutions aren't sacred to the end of December in my world.  I resolve and resolve often.  I'm always (even mid-year) resolving to do something that I know I'm probably not going to be able to maintain.  For example, I've tried countless times to force myself to write the stories in my head (any story) or even just write on a daily basis, to no avail.

Things will start off well enough. I'll get on the computer everyday for a week and write the required number of words.  But something happens over time--I get too busy to get on one day, random blogs on the Interwebs are way more interesting than the writing a description--and before you know it, my little resolution is over before it even started. 

The author of the article would not agree with my "resolve and resolve often" mantra--he makes the point that by committing ourselves to too much, we take away from everything, including the things we're already committed to.  I can completely see the truth in this and agree, except this does not apply to those of us who waste vast amounts of time on a daily basis. 

See, I have a major problem with time. 

I'll be the first to admit, I'm so easily distracted.  How easily distracted you ask?  Instead of getting on the a news website and just reading through the latest headlines, I'll find myself still on hours later reading a human interest piece about PTSD helper dogs that I found linked at the bottom of a page of a story about Kim Kardasian's pregnancy, which I found linked at the bottom of a page about the who is leaving the Obama cabinet, which I found linked at the bottom of the original page I started on.

So resolving to do less in my case (when I'm already doing less) doesn't seem to be very productive.  So maybe I should resolve to limit my time on my beloved Interwebs?  Get one of those programs that shuts off your access after a certain amount of time?  But then what to do about TV?  Books?  Crafts?  I'm in a pinball game of non-productivity, bouncing from one thing to another.  I'm probably not going to change.  I'm going to keep on making a million resolutions.  Only this year, I'm going to work on being kinder to myself about breaking them.

Should old acquaintance be forgot...

It will be a quiet night for all of us here as we welcome the new year in our pajamas.  There's lots to think about and prepare for as the big changes of last year (some good, some bad) continue to make their mark on the year ahead.  No matter how you spend (or spent) this evening, I hope that this new year brings you many blessings and great joy.  Remember as you go out into the world tonight, or tomorrow or even the day after, that we are all connected.  Happy New Year!

Thank you for this little bit of serendipity

Right after the Newtown tragedy, my best friend from high school posted a request on Face Book for help for two of her 5th grade students.  Their parents were out of work and the kids (growing insanely fast, as kids are wont to do) really were hurting for new clothing, shoes, etc.  Months ago, when I was employed, spending a couple hundred bucks on something like this would have meant eating at home a lot more during the month, but it would not have kept me from paying a bill.  Now that we are a one-income household, every dollar must be carefully considered (a work in progress for me--something that is sure to bite me in the rear end at some future date.)

I really wanted to help these kids though.  I could do nothing for those 20 lost children in CT, but I could certainly do some small thing to help these two kids.  I looked at all of the accounts--all of the Giftmas money had been spent, money in the checking account was already accounted for...then on a hunch I checked my Pay Pal account, where all of my money from my readings go.  I'd had used this account to supplement Christmas spending as well and was pretty certain there was a 0 balance.  Strangely enough, I still had a balance of $65--just $10 shy of what I need to buy both boys "cool" shoes. 

As an extremely poor kid growing up, I can't tell you the importance in kid/teen world of having "cool" shoes.  Other kids are ruthless and generic brand shoes from the big box store don't cut it.  A day after they arrived, I got this message from my friend:

"The shoes were a hit! I wish you could have seen their faces! They said to tell you thank you! The rest of the kiddos kept complimenting their shoes and the boys smiled all day long!!!"

So thank you, all of you, who have made my first year on Etsy wonderful.  I've always known I had great clients, but this tiny bit of serendipity you brought into my world was a great way to end 2012.   Have a blessed and safe New Year!

Be the Good

Last year around this time I wrote this very stuffy article about New Year's Resolutions and how best to maintain them throughout the year.  This year a lot has changed in my life and public tragedies such as the shootings in Newtown, CT have left me with a very acute sense of my own mortality.  I spent the weekend after that horrible shooting in a depressive haze.  All around my little town, flags a half staff waved in constant reminder of the evil that had occurred. 

I live my life like most human beings, with death pushed into this tiny compartment of my brain where it gets ignored.  But events like the shooting bring death out of its corner, as I'm suddenly reminded of how quickly everything I take for granted can be destroyed in mere minutes.  Right after the shooting, a picture of Mr. Rogers was circulating Face Book.  Attached was the following quote, "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster,” I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.”

So this year I'm approaching the whole New Year's Resolution thing differently.  I cannot save the world, nor single-handily stop tragedies like that from happening, but I can be a force for good. I can be a helper.
 
There are still practical elements of my resolution list...for example, I'm creating a list of goals that don't have absurd requirements attached (getting up at four a.m. to go running when I never get up at four a.m., no thank you).  On the not so practical side, I'm trying to work out my goals to be an even mixture of giving and self help.  The problems of the world seem to great to tackle on one's own, but there are little things that one can do everyday to be the good in this world.

And so I encourage you, on that list next to the "go to the gym," "find a new job," "lose ten pounds," to include a small service project or two, commit to helping out a local shelter or soup kitchen, vow to save a tiny sum each week to donate at the end of the year.  As a friend posted a few days ago, "Somehow, not only for Christmas, but all the long year through, the joy that you give to others, is the joy that comes back to you. And the more you spend in blessings, the poor and lonely and sad, the more of your heart’s possessing, returns to you glad.— John Greenleaf Whittier

Many blessing to you and yours in the New Year!

Celebrating Giftmas with the Advent Calendar

Cheesy Advent Calendar

I hate Christmas.  Growing up, it was a time guaranteed to bring out the worst in my parents who often would fight it out on Christmas Eve over how much money mom could spend on presents for us.  (We won't even get into the fiasco that was the years my father bought presents).

But now that I have rug rats of my own, I am constantly trying to find ways to celebrate the season in a way that both honors the birth of a man who preached peace and doesn't leave the kids feeling like they missed out on the Giftmas side of things.  This year my six year old is spending Xmas with his father, so it was even more of a challenge, especially since my spoiled little man really doesn't need two Christmases worth of toys.  That's were Cheesy Advent Calendar, purchased from big box craft store came in.   

I've spent the last few weeks scouring the Interwebs looking for Advent ideas as a way of celebrating without focusing entirely on the getting side of things.  Ideas out in the World Wide Web were sparse (it seems that a lot of people punted after coming up with a dozen or so ideas), so I'm going to post my list here.  The cool thing about the advent is that it can tailored to any family's specific ideas and beliefs fairly easily, as well as the age of the children involved.  I'm hoping to add a lot of service projects on to my calendar as my son grows.  This year is very craft heavy, and we may end up as epic craft fails, but hopefully all little man will remember is that we tried.

Our Advent Calendar (edited to add the results of each activity)

*1  Read the story of Baby Jesus and make a Nativity (was strangely excited at the idea that Jesus had a birthday....very insistant that Mary be significantly taller than Joseph....)
2  Decorate tree and drink hot chocolate with marshmallows (Little man refused the hot chocolate, of course)
3  Watch a Charlie Brown Christmas (He wasn't impressed at first, but it won him over by the end)
4  Buy a toy for a needy child  (He was confused by this, so maybe next year....)
5  Build a Plane Workshop (He loves these and they're free!)
6  Make Snowman pictures (This was an epic craft fail)
7  Read the Polar Express (Loved it)
8  Take Christmas tree pictures  (Put up with holding his sister in his lap for about 15 minutes)
9  Sing Christmas songs (never got around to organized singing, though he burst out in song many times)
10 St Nicholas Day (traditionally celebrated 6 December) (this confused him)
11 Go see a movie (Went to see Rise of the Guardians--we all loved it)
12 Salt Dough Ornaments (we ended up going with shrinky dinks because it looked cooler)
13 Make Christmas cards (this was a mixed bag....the child happily made cards...in pink, blue and purple)
14 Look at the Lights (The biggest hit of all of the ideas, he loved this, especially since we went to an organized display)
15 Visit Santa (He was very excited and actually smiled for the camera!)
16 Make Paper snowflakes (never got around to this) 
17 Read The Best Christmas Pagent Ever (never got around to this)  
18 Make Gingerbread crayons (ran out of time)
19 Make peppermint bark  (epic cooking fail)
20 Make gingerbread cookies (cheated and made chocolate chip instead)
21 Watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas (I found the man-child watching the DVD in his room before we could all get together to watch it....he loved it anyways and watched it four times)
22 Make wrapping paper (didn't happen :(  )
23 Reighndeer ornament (Also didn't happen)
24 wrap presents (this became mommy wrap....oh well....)

*I had to adjust our calendar to match up with little man's Christmas vacation, so we are actually starting our calendar on the 27th of November.
       
           
               

Getting back to reality.....

So my maternity leave from this blog was a bit longer than I intended........life seems to creep up, interfering with all the big ideas I had for my time at home.  I finished off my maternity leave from work, ran around like a madwoman trying to out process the Army and now I'm here.  What's next?  I have no idea. (Hopefully that doesn't disconcert you....a Tarot card reader who doesn't know what's next.)  Everyone comes to that point in their life from time to time--huge change is extremely overwhelming.  If you find yourself in the same boat, give yourself leave to not be superwo/man. 

It's okay to not know what you want to be when you grow up.

The world is full of possibilities.......but don't let those possibilities crowd out real life.  Take time to enjoy those around you.  For right now, I'm going to try and take my own advice and enjoy the demanding new creature around my house.

The Baby formally known as the bowling ball in my belly

Learning the Tarot: The importance of Clarity & Reading the Tarot

If you read this blog regularly, you've probably gathered that I'm in the military.  Very, very soon after my little parasite is born, I will be taking a HUGE leap by letting my contract expire after eight years in the hopes that I will be bringing a little sanity to my life.  It is a big leap because while husband can feed us and keep a roof over our heads, paying my credit card debt down (racked up long before I ever set eyes on him) is really not in the budget.  We have about four or five months of savings to cover us then it's back to work or.........(actually I really don't know what comes after the or).  It reminds me of those old maps of the world when it was still thought the world was flat and one could sail over the edge into the mouth of a great monster.  I'm headed to that monster right now.....oh sure, the water is fine now, but soon, I will get pulled over the edge........

It was in this agitated mood that I approached the Tarot one night (can you see where this is going?) and asked about my immediate future.  The cards came back to me, not as I'd hoped, (with a glimpse of the future or some hint as to what avenue I should take) but instead with a reading that made me say, "No shit, Tarot!"

My very first deck, used for personal readings only

What I got back was just an immediate reflection of what I already knew......conflict: between having many choices ahead of me and trying to make plans.........my short term future:  BIG Changes coming!  How I see myself: feeling like I'm becoming a big moocher because I'll be staying home with the baby for a bit.....and then funniest of all, the over emotionality of my future outlook card .  I say funny because as anyone who has had a baby knows emotions are insane right after birth and for a bit thereafter.....with my first child, I cried at the drop of a hat for a long time, at anything (though mostly baby commercials).....things are a bit hormonal at first.

So now, getting to my point.  Reading the Tarot is more than just shuffling some cards, laying them out and looking up meanings in your favorite guide.  Clarity and connection are important.  Clarity of mind allows for a true connection......not a reading jumbled with emotions  and desires of the reader.  If you have decided you want to study the cards, it's important that you prepare yourself each time to read the cards properly.
Some ideas on how to do this:

• Read in the same spot every time.  Pick a place without a lot of distractions, away from noise as much as possible.
• Create a ritual.....I'm not talking spells and curses here.....just a routine that you follow each time you read.  For example, you can shuffle the same way every time or split the deck exactly the same way.
• Give yourself a moment of silence before you begin touching the cards.
• Clear your mind of everything but the focus of your reading or question being asked.  Let nothing else cross your mind until you have finished laying out the cards. 

Clarity of mind is very important for those seeking a reading as well.  Coming to your reader in an emotional state will get you a very disconnected reading.  Try and approach your reader with a calm a mind as possible.  Push all thoughts away of anything else but the issue or question at hand.  Focus in on it until the last card has been drawn.   Keep this in mind and you too can avoid your own, "No Shit, Tarot!" moment.

Lady Love Tarot loves Tarot (and nothing else, apparently)

Long ago, when I was but a wee lass (and by wee lass I mean awkward teenager), I had a teacher who was the quintessential former flower child....long flowing clothing, messy hair, eclectic friends.  One day, while we were out on the playground, I lingered near her and another teacher, as she did a spread from the Medicine Cards for her coworker.  Fascinated, yet slightly scared of what she was doing, I pushed the idea to the back of my head for many years, until, as an adult, I found myself studying the Tarot.  It was only then, nearly twenty years later, that I remembered the Medicine Cards and sought them out on a trip to the local book store.  They were still in print, just as I remembered them.....eagerly I bought the package and took it home, ready to delve into the wisdom the cards might hold.

It was then that I was highly disappointed.  What had seemed highly mysterious, mystical even as a kid, was obviously nonsense.  There is little in the way of symbolism to connect to upon looking at the cards.  To make matters worse, the corresponding book seems to be filled with trite, condescending Native American "spiritualism."  (And by spiritualism I mean a complete and total butchering of what the author probably believes Native American believe.)  It made me sad, looking back on that teacher, that even as an adult (she was easily in her forties at the time) she could not see the mockery this made of Native American religions.  There may be really good alternatives to the Tarot out there, sadly this is not one of them.