Journaling

I really want to start journaling.  I really, really like the idea of it.  In my head, the idea of writing my innermost thoughts and feelings on a page of paper seems so--I don't know--relaxing and literary.  I imagine the worlds greatest thinkers must have written in journals. In my head, I can see myself sitting at a beautiful desk (that I don't own and probably won't until the kids are old enough not to destroy it), writing in beautiful handwriting (my own handwriting is chicken scratch) in a beautiful leather bound book that my children will treasure long after my death.

Okay, I know that I'm probably seriously over-romanticizing it, but getting things out of my system and onto a page does seem like an incredibly helpful tool for goal setting and just general mental well being.  But to be honest, I have an incredibly difficult time journaling.  Maybe you do to.  Personally there seems to be a million (neurotic) little reasons why I don't journal:

1.  I don't want to write in the really pretty book I've picked to be my journal, but practical notebooks don't seem worthy of being a journal.
2.  I really want to write my true feelings down but I don't want someone else to read them.
3.  I get started and write daily, then forget for a few days and by the time I remember I feel incredibly guilty and give up.
4.  Who is going to burn these journals if I die?
5.  If someone does read this, I want them to think I'm a fabulous writer, so I spend more time editing my thoughts than getting them down on paper.
6.  I can't write fast enough.
7.  Seriously, I can't write in that really pretty notebook, in fact I'm just going to put it with the other empty notebooks on the shelf.
8.  I can barely read my own handwriting.
9.  What do I do on the days when my schedule consisted of keeping the kids alive and doing laundry?
10. Do I really want my kids reading this 50 years from now?

If I've come up with 10 reasons, I'm sure many of you have as well.  I finally had to give up the idea of a traditional journal.  Something that works for one person (writing a regular account of their feeling and actions) does not work for all. Traditional journaling did not work for me at all. Journaling can be a good tool for self discovery, but only if it works for you.  It shouldn't make you feel guilty or kick your OCD into overdrive.

If you are interested in journaling, it's important to pick a format that works for you.  I write poems.  It doesn't happen every day, but it happens enough that I can come up with several a month.  Poems work for me because I can work on them over time and edit, edit, edit.  I don't ever have to force myself to sit down and I don't ever feel guilty about not writing them. 

Find something you enjoy and use it as a tool for recording your thoughts and emotions.  Here are a couple of alternatives to traditional journaling for you to consider:

1.  Sketching or painting.  Like poetry, this can be done when the mood strikes you.  You can choose a special book or keep a portfolio where you keep your drawings.  If you like the idea of having a book, but don't want to be restricted to the same paper size, consider scanning your finished work and creating a book through one of the many photography websites such as MPIX, Shuttefly, or Snapfish.

2.  Electronic journaling.  Many people can go a whole day not picking up a pen, but find themselves in front of a screen several times a day.  If that is you, why not move your journaling efforts to your computer or smartphone?  Your laptop or home computer is the perfect place to keep a journal--whether it's a simple word document or even an online blog.  And if you're like me and attached to your phone, there are tons of journaling apps, both free and paid, available on both IPhone and Droid devices.    One of my favorites is an app called "My Wonderful Days" which is available in light (free) and full (paid) versions. 

3.  Scrapbooks.  Maybe you aren't super crafty or up for buying into tons of supplies, but scrapbooks don't have to be the complicated, expensive, time-consuming project they have become.  Long before the intricate books of today, our grandmothers kept simple scrapbooks, full of bits and pieces of their lives--photos, newspaper clippings, programs, etc.  They didn't need ribbons or cut out shapes on printed papers--a simple ticket stub, photo or other memento pasted onto a page, with a few words written to the side worked well then and still can be a good way to get out the emotions associated with an event.

4.  Catchers.  Sometimes an idea hits at an inconvenient time.  I know that I personally often times find myself mulling over things as I'm stuck in standstill traffic, waiting for the kid to get out of school or in line at the bank.  For people like this, I suggest carrying around a little spiral notebook or note cards and writing when the mood strikes.  The slips of paper can be organized in a small filing box (if they are uniform in size) or if you're one to write on receipts and post it notes, consider sticking them in plastic paper protectors or scanning them to your computer to keep a chronological record.


In the end, how you journal isn't important.  Save yourself the angst and give up the image in your head of journaling and just do it.  Any journal that helps you work out your emotions and grow is a valid journal--make it work for you, don't work for your journal.

Ace of Pentacles: Cautiously Optimisitic

I rarely read for myself.  People often come to the Tarot because the emotion of a situation is too much:  Tarot readers are no exception.  When I read for myself this emotion leaks into the reading and I often just find myself with a mirror of my own emotional state as opposed to actual guidance.  But I thought I'd try today, as it's been a trying week and this has been the first day where I felt that my emotional "leveler" has finally reached the point where the bubble has found its way to the middle.  So I sat down and with the baby babbling and blowing raspberries (an excellent way to clear the mind, let me tell you) in the background, I shuffled the deck and drew my card.  I pulled the Ace of Pentacles.

The Ace of Pentacles was an interesting choice.  The suite of Pentacles deals with money and material matters.  It was strangely relevant because I am feeling very directionless these days.  I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.  More importantly, like lots of people these days, I've found myself in the middle of a frustrating and fruitless job search.  It has been a serious blow to my ego because I've been continuously employed since I was 19.  I think I've been working and earning money so long, that it became an integral part of my identity.   As my search has dragged on, I've been the subject of so much "helpful" advice and "encouragement." There are people out there who will ply you with inspirational quotes, religious messages, etc when you find yourself in a difficult life situation, but the truth of the matter is that sometimes trying circumstances like these are lessons but just as likely they are sometimes just trying circumstances.  Crappy things happen to everyone. 

When you find yourself drawing an Ace Card in the Tarot, you can know certain things without even knowing it's meaning:  1) You are facing beginnings, seeds being planted, new things on the horizon, new possibilities.  2)  You should focus on the main theme of the suit as the Ace is often the epitome of these ideas.  Today's message is clear:  focus on the practical, the material.  The seeds have been planted--you just have to look for them.  If this is you and you too are going through an exhausting search for work, I encourage you to look for those seeds.  They are there.  Every crappy situation is NOT a lesson from the universe, but something can be learned from every crappy situation.  Blessings!

Random Review Friday: 52 Mondays: The One Year Path to Outrageous Success and Lifelong Happiness

 

I have a love-hate relationship with a lot of self help books and programs out there.  Vic Johnson's book, however, completely surprised me in a very pleasant way.   I read it today while I was dying on the elliptical, having come across it awhile back on the 'ol Kindle.  While I'm not sure he truly introduces anything new (the basic message is:  Get off your butt if you want to accomplish anything) his approach is definitely new and falls more on the pragmatic side.

The book is, as you can imagine, broken down into 52 different sections, one for each Monday in a year.  Each chapter builds upon the last so you get a little reminder of what your lesson for the previous week was.  There is a lot of what you'd expect from a self help book--positive encouragement, anecdotes from famous and wealthy, inspirational quotes--without all of the nonsense a lot of authors try to sell about our desires and wishes being enough to attract great things.  

Don't get me wrong....I strongly believe that our energy and thoughts have a significant affect on our lives, but wishing all day to be rich isn't going to get you there.  This is where "52 Mondays" is different.  It's angle is to get you up and going and keep you in motion as you work towards your goal.  

I know it's nearly the end of January, but it's not too late to start implementing these ideas into your own life.  In fact what better time than now as those all around you give up on all of those New Year's resolutions.  Here's a way to help you stay strong throughout the year.

Properly Storing Your Tarot Cards

Leather Drawstring Bag from My Grandmother's Hands

If you've decided that this year you are going to begin learning the Tarot or if you've simply just decided as I did many years ago that Tarot cards are neat and you want to collect them, then you are going to want to learn about how best to keep and store them.  How you accomplish this will depend completely on your intent for the cards you have in your possession.

I'm not by any means the supreme Tarot expert, but in my experience, Tarot cards that you collect and Tarot cards that you use have to be treated as two separate things, though not for the reasons you think.  Many people will tell you that storage of your cards effects their energy.  This is where I disagree.  The power of any type of tool comes from the bearer and not the tool itself.  Tarot cards are just pieces of paper until you touch them and allow your energy to guide the cards.  Many Tarot readers will tell you that you MUST store and handle them a certain way, but the truth is there is no super secret mystical reason for the various methods of storing cards people insist on.

If you are collecting cards then you want to be practical in your approach to caring for them.  Generally, cards you are collecting should be protected just as with any other collection, so you should store them just as you would any other collectible.  I don't have room to display my collection, so for the time being mine are kept in a heavy duty plastic container with a lid.  When I'm not looking at them or showing them off, I keep them in a dark closet away from the sun.  When I take them out of their plastic box, I keep them away from water, wash and dry my hands before handling them and don't allow food or drink near them.

If you plan on using a Tarot deck and actually reading from it, you will want to keep it in a special way.  Ritual is incredibly important to reading the Tarot--having a ritual you maintain every time you read is essential to getting your mind ready and clear for the reading ahead.  How you store and care for you cards is a major part of this ritual.  As I mentioned before you'll find some very strong opinions on this (I've even seen people berated for the way they maintained their cards).  You'll also find that there are as many different opinions on how to store your cards as there are readers, but I've found having them wrapped or contained in special bag, pouch or box made of natural material is not only a good way to begin this ritual but it also serves to protect the cards better. (I like natural material pouches and boxes because for me the texture and feel of the pouch or box is important.)

Oftentimes when you buy a set of cards it comes with a pouch which is generally a see-through tulle type fabric.  There is nothing inherently wrong with keeping them in this type of bag (and if this feels right for you, then you should carry on) but it does offer very little protection for your cards.   Protection is important because you and perhaps everyone you read for will be coming into contact with your deck.

If you are not able to find a container made of natural materials that suits you, there are countless vendors online who sell all types of pouches and boxes to store your cards.  Last year I bought a wonderful leather pouch for a special set of cards my husband bought me from Kim a seller on Etsy.  An example of one of her pouches is at the top of this blog and below is the picture of the one I bought from her. I can't say enough good things about her wonderful bags--her pouches are beautiful and soft and her prices are very reasonable.

The pouch I bough from Kim's Etsy shop My Grandmother's Hands on Etsy

I also have used a solid wood trinket box I bought a while back to store my cards in.  This one is a bit on the fancy side because I picked it up while deployed, but any solid wooden box will work well to store a deck.

And finally, if money is tight and you're crafty (or even if you're not) hand made pouches work equally as well.  When I bought my first reading deck, I crocheted this pouch from cotton yarn to keep it in.  But if you're not fond of crafts, it doesn't have to be this elaborate.  A simple cloth wrapped neatly around your deck will work just as well.  The point being is do what works for you and your individual ritual.  There may be a million things that a person can do to give a horrible reading--misinterpretation of the cards, judging the client, letting our personal biases affect the reading--but storing cards the "wrong" way isn't one of them.  Keep them clean and dry and protected and they will serve you well for many years.

Disclaimer:  I did not receive compensation in any form for any endorsements made in this blog post, nor was I asked by Etsy or any of its sellers to make the preceding recommendations.

Be the Good

Last year around this time I wrote this very stuffy article about New Year's Resolutions and how best to maintain them throughout the year.  This year a lot has changed in my life and public tragedies such as the shootings in Newtown, CT have left me with a very acute sense of my own mortality.  I spent the weekend after that horrible shooting in a depressive haze.  All around my little town, flags a half staff waved in constant reminder of the evil that had occurred. 

I live my life like most human beings, with death pushed into this tiny compartment of my brain where it gets ignored.  But events like the shooting bring death out of its corner, as I'm suddenly reminded of how quickly everything I take for granted can be destroyed in mere minutes.  Right after the shooting, a picture of Mr. Rogers was circulating Face Book.  Attached was the following quote, "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster,” I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.”

So this year I'm approaching the whole New Year's Resolution thing differently.  I cannot save the world, nor single-handily stop tragedies like that from happening, but I can be a force for good. I can be a helper.
 
There are still practical elements of my resolution list...for example, I'm creating a list of goals that don't have absurd requirements attached (getting up at four a.m. to go running when I never get up at four a.m., no thank you).  On the not so practical side, I'm trying to work out my goals to be an even mixture of giving and self help.  The problems of the world seem to great to tackle on one's own, but there are little things that one can do everyday to be the good in this world.

And so I encourage you, on that list next to the "go to the gym," "find a new job," "lose ten pounds," to include a small service project or two, commit to helping out a local shelter or soup kitchen, vow to save a tiny sum each week to donate at the end of the year.  As a friend posted a few days ago, "Somehow, not only for Christmas, but all the long year through, the joy that you give to others, is the joy that comes back to you. And the more you spend in blessings, the poor and lonely and sad, the more of your heart’s possessing, returns to you glad.— John Greenleaf Whittier

Many blessing to you and yours in the New Year!

Learning the Tarot: The importance of Clarity & Reading the Tarot

If you read this blog regularly, you've probably gathered that I'm in the military.  Very, very soon after my little parasite is born, I will be taking a HUGE leap by letting my contract expire after eight years in the hopes that I will be bringing a little sanity to my life.  It is a big leap because while husband can feed us and keep a roof over our heads, paying my credit card debt down (racked up long before I ever set eyes on him) is really not in the budget.  We have about four or five months of savings to cover us then it's back to work or.........(actually I really don't know what comes after the or).  It reminds me of those old maps of the world when it was still thought the world was flat and one could sail over the edge into the mouth of a great monster.  I'm headed to that monster right now.....oh sure, the water is fine now, but soon, I will get pulled over the edge........

It was in this agitated mood that I approached the Tarot one night (can you see where this is going?) and asked about my immediate future.  The cards came back to me, not as I'd hoped, (with a glimpse of the future or some hint as to what avenue I should take) but instead with a reading that made me say, "No shit, Tarot!"

My very first deck, used for personal readings only

What I got back was just an immediate reflection of what I already knew......conflict: between having many choices ahead of me and trying to make plans.........my short term future:  BIG Changes coming!  How I see myself: feeling like I'm becoming a big moocher because I'll be staying home with the baby for a bit.....and then funniest of all, the over emotionality of my future outlook card .  I say funny because as anyone who has had a baby knows emotions are insane right after birth and for a bit thereafter.....with my first child, I cried at the drop of a hat for a long time, at anything (though mostly baby commercials).....things are a bit hormonal at first.

So now, getting to my point.  Reading the Tarot is more than just shuffling some cards, laying them out and looking up meanings in your favorite guide.  Clarity and connection are important.  Clarity of mind allows for a true connection......not a reading jumbled with emotions  and desires of the reader.  If you have decided you want to study the cards, it's important that you prepare yourself each time to read the cards properly.
Some ideas on how to do this:

• Read in the same spot every time.  Pick a place without a lot of distractions, away from noise as much as possible.
• Create a ritual.....I'm not talking spells and curses here.....just a routine that you follow each time you read.  For example, you can shuffle the same way every time or split the deck exactly the same way.
• Give yourself a moment of silence before you begin touching the cards.
• Clear your mind of everything but the focus of your reading or question being asked.  Let nothing else cross your mind until you have finished laying out the cards. 

Clarity of mind is very important for those seeking a reading as well.  Coming to your reader in an emotional state will get you a very disconnected reading.  Try and approach your reader with a calm a mind as possible.  Push all thoughts away of anything else but the issue or question at hand.  Focus in on it until the last card has been drawn.   Keep this in mind and you too can avoid your own, "No Shit, Tarot!" moment.

The Scariest Card of All

I was minding my own business, laying out the cards for a client when it appeared.......that pesky card that plagues Tarot card readers world over. 

Death..........my personal nemesis as a card reader. 

Don't get me wrong, I love the imagery of the Tarot, I love the symbolism, but it oftentimes comes off as far too melodramatic.  I cringed as I set the card down.  This reading, unfortunately, wasn't for a client in front of me, but rather some poor soul  who would be opening an email from me and see it staring at them in all of its melodramatic glory.  I wouldn't be there to reassure them, "It's not really Death!  I swear!"

But it is, (at least when it's you're reading) and all you can think about is: my future says death.  Guh.  Despite what Hollywood would have us believe, Tarot Card readers (at least legitimate ones) don't normally go around predicting their clients' deaths.  The card Death, like all cards in the deck, is symbolic.....it asks us to be ready for change.  Big change.  Life altering change.  Death, after all, is the greatest change a living person will ever go through.  When Death appears in your reading, the cards are giving you a heads up.....change is coming.....life as you know it will never be the same again.

In the case of my client,  Death was actually a very promising card.....her financially life had been really difficult up to this point.  The change that the Death card promised forecasted a promising financial future.  I can only hope she took my explanation to heart.  I cringe to think she stopped reading at the word death.

Gilded Tarot: A Review

The Gilded Tarot, for the price (currently around $17 on Amazon.com), is on the surface, a pretty good deal.  The set comes with a 78 card deck, a companion book filled with card explanations, and a tulle drawstring bag to hold the cards.  Unfortunately the price alone wasn't enough to sway me into becoming a fan of this deck or the set.  On the pro side, the images on the deck are a bright contrast to the black background.  However, the computer generated, cut and paste feel of each card left me feeling cold.  There is nothing to connect with....perhaps it sounds strange, but the images (though medieval in theme) were a bit too modern for me.  The book, while detailed enough, is a little on the convoluted side in the meanings it gives for each card.  This definitely wouldn't be the book to start with for the beginner.  The drawstring bag, while a nice freebie, is not the appropriate storage method for a deck a reader plans on using on a regular basis, nor does it provide much protection for the deck.  What it ultimately comes down to is personal preference. If the images appeal to you (go here to see several images of the deck) then this might be a great addition to your collection.  This however isn't the deck or set for a newbie, nor does it provide the "connection" I felt needed to exist between the reader and the card images.

Tarot Philosophy

Before I gave into my curiosity about the Tarot, I can remember being slightly afraid of it, if that makes any sense.  I knew nothing of the people who studied it, and assumed that all Tarot readers were mysterious women casting spells and curses.  In realty of course, I now know that Tarot practitioners come from all walks of life.  But I think that image is pervasive, keeping people who might otherwise benefit from seeking out the guidance of the Tarot.

I like to tell people that the Tarot is one of the first self help books, only in card form.  The Tarot is less of a fortune telling device and more of a guidance tool.  Most of us know the answers to the questions we have, but other things......fear, false security, laziness......all get in the way, leaving us in confusion when we come encounter conflict and change.  The Tarot helps clarify our thoughts and desires.  There is nothing new under the sun in the way we relate to one another, thus the Tarot is able to help provide a forecast.  Forecasts take into account all conditions and then provide a probable outcome.  This outcome, much like the weather forecasts, isn't set in stone, thus it may not always be right, but it can definitely give you a good idea of where you are going if you continue down the path you're on.

Ultimately, it's important to remember that there is nothing to fear from the Tarot....in the right hands, it will provide you with a powerful tool to improve your life.

Asking the Tarot

For a lot of people, Tarot Card Readings are rare....sometimes even once-in-a-lifetime events.  So it's a pretty safe bet that when someone sits down with me, they have never sought guidance from the Tarot..  I find that a lot of people want to "test" their reader by being vague, leaving details out or outright lying.  In the end it is my client's reading, and what they choose to disclose or keep to themselves is up to them, but a lot of these things are counter-productive to a good Tarot reading.  Now don't get me wrong, readers don't always have the time for the reader's life story, and if your reading has to fit in a short period of time, then disclosure of a great amount of personal info may be unnecessary and wasteful.  Here is what I like to tell my clients:

1.  Keep your question or issue in your mind during the entire reading.  Focusing on the issue at hand can be difficult, but keeping it in the front of your mind during the reading keeps the reading from rambling off in different directions and can give you a clearer picture of what lies ahead.


2.  Keep follow up questions directly related to your original question.  Maintaining the original energy of the reading builds on the momentum already built by the original reading.


3.  Not sure what to ask or how to ask it?  Ask your reader for help. It's their job to help you get the most out of the reading.

4.  Avoid "yes" or "no" questions--ask questions instead that give the "big picture."  Yes/no questions are very limited and leave little for exploration or discussion.


All this said....Tarot readings aren't just limited to those with problems or drama in their lives.....sometimes half the fun is just seeing what your cards have to say.  Simply sitting down with a clear and empty mind and asking for an open reading may be your best bet and just may offer the best insight into your life.

When the answer you get isn't the one you want

So I seem to keep running into the same situation. Client asks for a reading about the ex, someone they dated for a short time, or someone they're currently with who just isn't that into them and then is incredibly frustrated when the cards reveal that. I always do my best to give the bad news as gently as I can, but it still does nothing to help the client who didn't get the answer they had hoped for. It's hard as a reader to give someone bad news ( I want everyone to leave my presence happy and excited about the future that awaits) but it's also my job to be honest about what the cards reveal. What can you do if you don't get the answer you had hoped for?

1. Remember you have free will....but so does everyone else.
The Tarot is less predictive and more about what's going on now and what may lay ahead if the current path remains unchanged. It's not guaranteed. Don't like what the cards say? Change your path. You have the power. But remember, just as you have free will, so does everyone else in your life. You can affect you, but you can't always affect everyone else.

2. Try to see the cards point of view.
Sometimes we know the answers, but don't want to believe or deal with the truth. Some situations (matters of love especially) are really difficult to see objectively. Take notes of your reading (if they aren't provided for you by the reader) and review them later. Sometimes time and distance help us process information a little more objectively.

3. Ask a friend.
It's a lot easier for outsiders to be objective about your problems and issues, so ask a trusted friend or family member....was the reading right as they see it? Maybe they can see truth where you can't.

4. And there's always the possibility.......Maybe you just got a crappy reading.........
And yes, there is always the possibility that the reading is wrong. Maybe it's as simple as your reader had an off day, maybe he/she just picked up the cards yesterday, or maybe (because it does happen) he or she is just a quack after your money. Make sure you know what your reader provides for his/her fee....does she allow for followup questions? Rare is the reading full of doom and gloom. Be wary of the reader predicting doom and gloom that they can help you prevent with a spell or charm for a fee.

One final piece of advice......readers are just like any other personal service provider....sometimes it takes a few tries before you find someone that you click with. It may be that you and the reader just aren't connecting well enough to get a good reading. Look around, but be wary of those who are simply in the business to get your money.......making a living is one thing......running a con is a whole other kettle of fish.....